Day 47-"Consequences" as a tool to getting things done!

The most frustrating thing about being with children or teaching them is when you ask them to do something and they just deny it.It is just a NO. Have you noticed that the first few words that the child utters is "NO"

What all we adults do, to make children do what we want them to...

1. We reason with them(when they are extremely young and don't even understand what you are talking about ..lol)

2. We threaten them-

  • If you don't do this..I will tell the teacher/daddy. 
  • If you don't listen to me, I will not talk to you
  • If you don't eat, Mama will be very sad(and one fake sad face)
  • If you say No, I will cut your TV time

3. We bribe them

  • If you eat now, I will buy you a chocolate
  • If you write, I will give you a surprise
  • If you sleep now, I will buy you something new
  • If you get good marks, I will buy you a bicycle

ALL WRONG METHODS

What we are actually trying to show the child. For him to do what is right, he must expect a reward. If he doesn't do what YOU want him to do, he will have to expect an punishment.

Having said all this, I do understand that it is extremely frustrating to deal with these children who can be very adamant .But let us think about why did it get to tat point in the first place.
The more I think about it, the more I am convinced that the ONLY reason for why we reach this point is because of our lack of patience.
When children take their first steps into learning something, we just don't let them do it by themselves. We hold the pencil for them, we feed them, we do their homework, we dress them up, we finish their puzzle....we basically live their life. SO much that we deny the child the pleasure of learning/doing anything.
Each child has a different pace. Let us respect that..Let the child discover the joy of learning by himself..of building himself ..of taking responsibility for himself.

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